Survey Says: No Prizes for Losers!

So, it seems you feeble-minded Americans are gonna try and match wits with me, a couple of Valedictorians, Mr. Wright, and Magnum! Good Luck! You're gonna need it! As a wise man once said, "Close only counts in horse shoes and hand-grenades." So you better bring your A-Game! I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you go home with nuthin, not even a case of turtle wax... Top answer on the board: Germany!

Unsincerely,
Jim Shorts

PS. I hope your 4th of July got rained out!

Get Well Mike Tobin, from Jim Shorts

I want to let Mike Tobin know that the Shorts camp is wishing him well...not too well, I can't have the Chick Magnets running around everywhere taking the titles that belong to my boys. And I'm sure that it was some half-witted American that threw Mike out the wrong way forcing the injury. Anyway, get that arm back to 100%! If not I'm sure you can cast that baby up and start taking the Green Team out Cowboy Bob Orton style.

Jim Shorts on Nana vs. Vida Loca

Wow … you think some masked superstar is gonna put a hurtin' on the Prince? You ARE mistaken! All I know is that a mask limits your vision and you’re gonna need eyes in the back of your head luchadore boy …

Hey Nana … if you’re reading this … one good eye poke should finish the job! And Loca Vida, Vida Loca, whatever your name is … pack your bags, grab your green card, and head south of the border where you belong … and on your way grab me a chalupa. Ill meet you for spring break.

Insincerely,
Jim Shorts

A very sincere Jim Shorts

Boo-hoo! Freak Nastty got jumped… serves him right. He stuck his pretty boy nose in too many places it didn’t belong. That’s what you get son! He was meant to wrestle, make the crowd cheer, and let the girls swoon all over him… NOT RUN ECWA!I know I didn’t do it… and none of my boys were around that punk.

Insincerely,
Jim Shorts

PS. Mega owes us a new German flag; his back bent our old one.