No contest!!!!!! Mid-Atlantic Meltdown hardly! Just look at the lineup.
The first three victims -- J.J. Cruz, Jason Leigh, and Corey Blaze -- not a problem; the three of them are hardly tough enough. HOWEVER, they will be a fine warm-up.
Gus Grand: Too busy managing.
Robere Shields: If i can out dance him, well you know.
Timothy Richards: almost as smart as a pit bull .
Chase Del Monte: "No chance" Delmonte, just another way to embarrass him.
Finally Aden Chambers: He is on a losing streak like I've NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
So, by my calculations, the only "sure thing" is a decisive VICTORY by ... Mr. Ooh La La!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
ECWA Fan Interaction Night
ECWA Pro Wrestling. Fan Interaction Night. Saturday, July 26, 2008. Magnum will honor the fans by participating in a “Family Feud” style trivia contest with some lucky ECWA fans. The idea is laughable.
On one side you’ll have the awesome one, Magnum, teamed up with The Valedictorians, Coach Jim Shorts, and Mr. Scott Wright. A true mastermind team. On the other side ECWA fans, mostly from Delaware, will try to outsmart ECWA’s intellectual superiors.
The idea is hysterical. I mean, Delaware is the square root of stupid. The fans don’t stand a chance!
While I don’t know what questions will come our way, Magnum can easily predict that his team will reign supreme. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out!
Good luck ECWA fans. I can’t wait to see the smoke exhaust from your ugly little ears. Just remember … think too hard and you’ll hurt yourself! Just come to the show and have fun. Don’t worry about winning … you never have and you never will. Leave that for the awesomeness of Magnum and his team.
-Magnum
On one side you’ll have the awesome one, Magnum, teamed up with The Valedictorians, Coach Jim Shorts, and Mr. Scott Wright. A true mastermind team. On the other side ECWA fans, mostly from Delaware, will try to outsmart ECWA’s intellectual superiors.
The idea is hysterical. I mean, Delaware is the square root of stupid. The fans don’t stand a chance!
While I don’t know what questions will come our way, Magnum can easily predict that his team will reign supreme. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out!
Good luck ECWA fans. I can’t wait to see the smoke exhaust from your ugly little ears. Just remember … think too hard and you’ll hurt yourself! Just come to the show and have fun. Don’t worry about winning … you never have and you never will. Leave that for the awesomeness of Magnum and his team.
-Magnum
Survey Says: No Prizes for Losers!
So, it seems you feeble-minded Americans are gonna try and match wits with me, a couple of Valedictorians, Mr. Wright, and Magnum! Good Luck! You're gonna need it! As a wise man once said, "Close only counts in horse shoes and hand-grenades." So you better bring your A-Game! I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you go home with nuthin, not even a case of turtle wax... Top answer on the board: Germany!
Unsincerely,
Jim Shorts
PS. I hope your 4th of July got rained out!
Unsincerely,
Jim Shorts
PS. I hope your 4th of July got rained out!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Magnum Comments on ECWA Pro Wrestling's Upcoming Fan Interaction Night
So, ECWA Pro Wrestling is having Fan Interaction Night on July 26. Magnum cringes at the thought of what this can possibly mean. My awesomeness can only predict that the night will end with Magnum, winner of the 2008 Spring Olympiad, muttering those oh-so-famous words: “The horror… The horror…”
When it comes to the ECWA, one of Magnum’s few saving graces is that the house lights are NOT on. I couldn’t imagine, I wouldn’t WANT to imagine, having to look into the audience and actually see the ugly, depressed, sorry faces of the fans.
You know, Delaware’s state fish is the Weakfish. Nuff said.
Back to Fan Interaction Night for the glorious ECWA. Again, Magnum is having a hard time predicting what all this means, but he will come prepared. In addition to Magnum’s custom-designed and tailored couture clothing, he will also pack plenty of Purell just in case a grubby fan gets too close. I mean, everyone wants a piece of Magnum! Additionally, I’ll make sure my ride is close by with the engine running… one can never get out of Delaware quick enough!
Well, let the ECWA throw at me what they will. Kettner and Naegle tried to get the better of Magnum last show, and we all know how that turned out. Did I mention that Magnum has brought awesomeness to the ECWA? He brings it everywhere he goes … and it’ll definitely be there on July 26. You won’t want to miss it.
When it comes to the ECWA, one of Magnum’s few saving graces is that the house lights are NOT on. I couldn’t imagine, I wouldn’t WANT to imagine, having to look into the audience and actually see the ugly, depressed, sorry faces of the fans.
You know, Delaware’s state fish is the Weakfish. Nuff said.
Back to Fan Interaction Night for the glorious ECWA. Again, Magnum is having a hard time predicting what all this means, but he will come prepared. In addition to Magnum’s custom-designed and tailored couture clothing, he will also pack plenty of Purell just in case a grubby fan gets too close. I mean, everyone wants a piece of Magnum! Additionally, I’ll make sure my ride is close by with the engine running… one can never get out of Delaware quick enough!
Well, let the ECWA throw at me what they will. Kettner and Naegle tried to get the better of Magnum last show, and we all know how that turned out. Did I mention that Magnum has brought awesomeness to the ECWA? He brings it everywhere he goes … and it’ll definitely be there on July 26. You won’t want to miss it.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A heavyweight challenge by Dan Eckos
What's up ECWA fans? It’s one half of your favorite and the greatest tag team ever, and no I'm not talking about Doink and Dink the Clowns. It’s me, Dan Eckos of the Heavyweights. Before I begin talking about that sissy Scott Wright, I just want to give my bro Rob a quick shout out and say, love you bro.
Now onto Mr. Wright, who is dead WRONG on accusing my tag team partner Sean Royal of hitting Freak Nastty with a baseball bat. That two timing guy is like a piece of gum and I'm not talking about Bazooka Joe. He is like the one you step on and it gets stuck under your shoe. But he's not the easy one to pick off; he's the real soft and sticky annoying one that's takes forever to totally remove.
Scott Wright, I don't know where you got your info from but it’s wrong because Sean and I were at the gym. After the gym we were watching the movie Pumping Iron with Arnold Schwarzenegger so it couldn't have been him. But what's done is done and now Sean is suspended. So as a best friend and a tag partner, it is my right, Mr. Scott Wright, to knock you out "cuz, mama said to." I don't mean just a regular knock out but I mean a real painful one, like the pain you feel in your legs after doing 505 squats with 600 lb. on the bar.
With that being said Mr. Wright, and with the permission of ECWA officials, I challenge you to a fight on July 26, you DORK!
-Dan Eckos
Now onto Mr. Wright, who is dead WRONG on accusing my tag team partner Sean Royal of hitting Freak Nastty with a baseball bat. That two timing guy is like a piece of gum and I'm not talking about Bazooka Joe. He is like the one you step on and it gets stuck under your shoe. But he's not the easy one to pick off; he's the real soft and sticky annoying one that's takes forever to totally remove.
Scott Wright, I don't know where you got your info from but it’s wrong because Sean and I were at the gym. After the gym we were watching the movie Pumping Iron with Arnold Schwarzenegger so it couldn't have been him. But what's done is done and now Sean is suspended. So as a best friend and a tag partner, it is my right, Mr. Scott Wright, to knock you out "cuz, mama said to." I don't mean just a regular knock out but I mean a real painful one, like the pain you feel in your legs after doing 505 squats with 600 lb. on the bar.
With that being said Mr. Wright, and with the permission of ECWA officials, I challenge you to a fight on July 26, you DORK!
-Dan Eckos
Friday, June 20, 2008
E.S. Easton Analyzes
Here is my analysis of last show. Let me just be the first to pat myself on the back and say, I WAS RIGHT ALONG!
What was it I said? Brains will always overcome brawn. Ace Darling walked away with the titles! Actually, he ran away with the titles, but still...possession is nine tenths of the law!!! Glen Osbourne may have "won the battle", but Ace won the war! As far as I'm concerned, he's the undisputed champeen!!! And until Glen can get those belts back, it's gonna stay that way...Ace is quicker!
Now, onto the Logans...yes, they are still the ECWA Tag Team Champions...yes, they are a great tag team, and are one of the best teams to have ever graced an ECWA ring. HOWEVER the fact remains that they had to cheat to beat the Nigerians. The Nigerian Nightmares were pummeling the Logan Brothers from pillar to ring post, and sure enough, the Logans cheated to win. You know, there is just one thing that really tweaks my melon, and that's a cheater! I, E.S. Easton DO NOT and NEVER HAVE condoned cheating. It is unethical, unfathomable and for crying out loud inappropriate!!
Besides, I lost A LOT of money on that match!! Matt and Bryan Logan are a pair of jerks!
And speaking of jerk, Freak Nastty is returning in July...whoopdy doo!! Well, I have actually solved the so called "mystery" of the alleged attacker. Mr. Wright is WRONG. Sean Royal is NOT the attacker. Nor is it his partner, Danny Eckos...or Danny's brother Rob, or Rob's partner, Billy. Or Ted, Alice, Bob and Carol for that matter! It wasn't anyone on the roster or anyone affiliated with the ECWA front offices. It wasn't even a fan for that matter.
Confused? I know what I said last month, but I've had a chance to study all of the evidence now, and now I FINALLY KNOW what happened. Freak Nastty wasn't even attacked!!! You heard it here first! He's a liar! HE WAS NEVER ATTACKED! He simply slipped and fell, just like Mr. Ooh La La, but rather own up to it, he simply went with the story that he was attacked, rather than own up to the simple truth that the part owner of the ECWA is a KLUTZ!!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
- E.S. Easton
What was it I said? Brains will always overcome brawn. Ace Darling walked away with the titles! Actually, he ran away with the titles, but still...possession is nine tenths of the law!!! Glen Osbourne may have "won the battle", but Ace won the war! As far as I'm concerned, he's the undisputed champeen!!! And until Glen can get those belts back, it's gonna stay that way...Ace is quicker!
Now, onto the Logans...yes, they are still the ECWA Tag Team Champions...yes, they are a great tag team, and are one of the best teams to have ever graced an ECWA ring. HOWEVER the fact remains that they had to cheat to beat the Nigerians. The Nigerian Nightmares were pummeling the Logan Brothers from pillar to ring post, and sure enough, the Logans cheated to win. You know, there is just one thing that really tweaks my melon, and that's a cheater! I, E.S. Easton DO NOT and NEVER HAVE condoned cheating. It is unethical, unfathomable and for crying out loud inappropriate!!
Besides, I lost A LOT of money on that match!! Matt and Bryan Logan are a pair of jerks!
And speaking of jerk, Freak Nastty is returning in July...whoopdy doo!! Well, I have actually solved the so called "mystery" of the alleged attacker. Mr. Wright is WRONG. Sean Royal is NOT the attacker. Nor is it his partner, Danny Eckos...or Danny's brother Rob, or Rob's partner, Billy. Or Ted, Alice, Bob and Carol for that matter! It wasn't anyone on the roster or anyone affiliated with the ECWA front offices. It wasn't even a fan for that matter.
Confused? I know what I said last month, but I've had a chance to study all of the evidence now, and now I FINALLY KNOW what happened. Freak Nastty wasn't even attacked!!! You heard it here first! He's a liar! HE WAS NEVER ATTACKED! He simply slipped and fell, just like Mr. Ooh La La, but rather own up to it, he simply went with the story that he was attacked, rather than own up to the simple truth that the part owner of the ECWA is a KLUTZ!!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
- E.S. Easton
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Mega Challenges The Beast Glen Osbourne
What's up ECWA fans? I hope you're enjoying the Spring and getting ready for a great Summer! I just wanted to take time out to congratulate Glen on retaining the Heavyweight Championship and winning the Mid-Atlantic Title. Unfortunately, that's where the pleasantries end. I've never held a title in the ECWA and I've been a part of this great company for almost 6 years! It's time for that to change! Glen, if you're reading this, as soon as you get your belts back and dispose of that moron Ace Darling, I would love to hook up with you and challenge you for one of those belts. I'm hungry for a title and can taste it! Just the thought of entering that arena and winning a title for the fans gives me goose bumps. So please whatever you do, get your belts back, toss Ace Darling in the trash like the piece of garbage he is and let's gets down and have some fun and maybe, just maybe I can bring a championship belt back home to Wilson, NC!
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